Yeah, yeah, yeah, my birthday Curse sucks. Yada, yada, yada. What about yours? Is yours close to a major holiday and it, too, gets the royal up-the-pooter treatment? Or maybe the timing of the date is OK, but the way it was celebrated (or NOT!) bit the big donger? Post your stories, bitches, and moans here.
Also, please don’t forget to post your ideas for my party in the last post!
THIS JUST IN!!!
Check your email for invitations starting 02/21. By invite only.
OK, it is time for me to debunk some of the almost right and way wrong things I am hearing in regard to that notorious thing of things: my birthday. Actually, it is past time, but I seem to be something of a procrastinator. Keep in mind, I’m just setting the record straight – if you see a “fact” you held true, here, don’t take its correction personally.
Myth #1 – Milton Hates His Birthday
I do NOT, in fact, hate my birthday at all. I am a happy person who is glad I was born. Every year when B-Day comes rolling around I am glad to have lived another year. Further, I do NOT hate celebrating my birthday, especially with friends. Little would please me more than to have the people whose company I regularly enjoy gather round me to tell me they, too, are glad I was born, and that makes them want to party! I am definitely not one of those individuals who prefers to pretend my birthday isn’t happening, saying, “Don’t make a fuss or call attention to my birthday”. If you are one of those folk, fine for you, but I still want you to come celebrate mine!
What I DO hate is the curse on my birthday (and when I say that, I am aware I am employing a bit of hyperbole). The curse is related to timing. My birthday is Februrary 25th every year. (Trust me, I cheked these facts on the Internet!) Can anyone else think of ANYTHING else that happens around then? You at the back? Ah, yes Valentine’s Day. Good. Anyone else? Yes, the ever-wandering Mardi Gras! And anything before that? President’s Day? No, sorry, that’s not a real holiday unless you are a banker or a retailer looking for an excuse for a sale theme. Same with MLK Jr. day. New Years? Yes. Christmas? Ah, very good. Yes. I think we have gone back far enough.
Here’s the point I am making about those other days and my day being in conflict: the Winter holiday season gets going with Halloween, and people get their “OK, I’ve got these Days to pay attention to” mindset on. That mindset goes through Mardi Gras, and because of it, year after year, my birthday can get lost. If MG is BEFORE my B-Day, people think, “Whew! What a long and fun party season. Well, no more Days I need to keep in mind.” If it happens AFTER, people think, “Only one Thing left, coming up, for me to keep in mind – Mardi Party!” It seems the closer MG is to the 25th the greater this obfuscation is. Plus, if MG is AFTER, any party I want to have runs the risk of parade and parade traffic conflict. It all makes me pissy, and some years I simply don’t fight the Curse, and I try “clever” tricks like declaring my birthday will arbitrarily fall a month after its actual date, so the dust can settle and then we can get down to business. Yeah, that has resulted in simply skipping any party plans. Lastly, the Curse makes people give up for Lent anything I would want them to do at party. Great. Thanks, JC.
Myth #2 – Milton Wants Everyone Else To Plan It All For Him
I have no earthly recollection of ever having suggested that I am King Milton and all my servants (read: friends) should gather unto me and plan a shindig in my honor, with no useful input or effort from me. 1) I don’t regard myself nearly so high as a king (maybe distanty related to royal ancestors?), and 2) I DEFINITELY want input in my own party – I worry if I left it all to others it would not turn out like I want it, and who wants to be dissatisfied on their birthday? (yeah, touch of control freak, there…) I welcome and encourage ANY ideas and input and effort from all my friends. Hell, I am directly INVITING the ideas. However, please don’t get your feelings hurt if the plan chosen isn’t yours. Also, please don’t feel I expect others to do it all. I helped to make MissyG’s and Snap’s parties, and I feel fairly proud of my party-making efforts and how those came out.
Myth #3 – Milton Once Killed A Man On His Birthday
That guy is alive and recovering today, I hear. Let’s move on. I’m sure HE has.
Myth #4 – Milton Is Actually The Same Age As Snap
Not really, but thanks for noticing my youthful vigor. I’ll be thirty-five this year, sadly graduating out of that coveted 18-34 demographic. MTV will forget me. Magically, my TV will start throwing more Metamucil and home-refinancing loan ads at me. Hah! Fools! Little do they know I’ll still be buying Vans and Fruit Roll-ups! Aw, hell. Who am I fooling? I don’t buy any of those things. I buy rent, restaurant food, socks, and blank CDs. What the hell demographic is that?
Myth #5 – Milton Hates Presents For His Birthday
TRUE.
Nah!!!! Gotcha! I LOVE presents! No pressure or anything.
Myth #6 – This Post is Done
Yeah, that one is TRUE.
Here’s what we DO know: Party at MnR’s Saturday, Feb. 26th. Probably 7pm. Theme? You tell ME! Food and drink will be involved, so don’t worry about trying to get a meal in before the party. Also, Heather, I will (as usual) ensure there will be something you can grub-down on. Now, QUICK, think of something to do (outside of previous parties’ events, and “just hanging around”) and post it! Actual email or call invites to follow.
-M
02/20 – 11am — THIS JUST IN! CURSE STILL IN EFFECT!
Ah, Curse my old friend, just when I thought I might not see you this year you arrive! Despite everyone’s considerate forethought in keeping things like Lisa’s Dirty Movie Night, etc…, out of scheduling conflict with the 25th and 26th, it looks like the Curse has slipped in sideways by landing another event which I’m not even invited to or allowed to post clearly on this blog, since it’s a surprise that is now fucking my party in the ass!. Nice. And the following weekend is slated for Rhonda’s mother’s birthday, too. Maybe it will have to be the 25th – despite being diffcult to do all the prep work between 5pm and 8pm on a Friday night. Stay Tuned for more irony and frustration.
Oh, Ashlee, how you have fallen.
Here’s a mildly amusing site about Jessica Simpson’s little sister, Ashlee. I think we all know about how she was revealed to be lipsyncing her Saturday Night Live performance when the “backing vocal” for her first song came on while she was singing her second song. And, what a trooper! She panicked, followed by a stupid dance, ultimately leaving stage, all on live TV, then blamed her band for playing the wrong song.. What a bink.
My favorite part of the website is the tagline, based on a quick quote from her about what happened: She Thought She’d Do a Hoedown. That’s great!
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