We'll See How Long This Lasts…

I awoke from nightmares a few times last night.

In the last one, the one I recall clearly, Missy and I were in the (for now) hobbled, limping city that is Metairie and another hurricane was possibly coming our way. What to do?! We couldn’t stay – the city was fragile and weakend by Katrina, and even a lesser storm could be catastrophe if it passed over or near us. We couldn’t leave – everybody else who had returned would be leaving, too, causing traffic jams that would leave us stranded on the highway after all our gas ran out. Plus, where would we go – the missing 50% of NOLA’s population was already taking up all the safe harbor of hotels!

Then I woke up and felt the waking fear of moving to another, more disaster-safe city, but doing so so without the guarantee of a secured income. What good does it do to jump to the safety of a new home in another place, I thought, if I can’t pay for it, and if the “well runs dry” before I find a new “stream”, now we’re in a strange place, safe from hurricanes, but no way to pay the rent and electricity? Add to that the need to rush to the new city for fear of missing opportunity to find jobs and apartments before everyone else who left scoops them up.

This anxiety, I hope, will fade. I make decisions and take actions to help secure my safety and security. Yes. It may all work out well, especially if I do what needs to be done to make it do so, like aggessively job seraching in Austin, and even going there to help that endeavor.

For the record, though, I want to go back to feeling safe, again.

**Update**
OK, I’m at my new temp job, feeling the familiar, however small, comfort of having a task to occupy me that I am good at. I must admit that since Katrina my state of mind can swing high and low quite a bit more than it used to – I am by nature a happy person. So, I’m swinging back toward Up, just now. I’ll see if I can stay there.